Moving beyond the crush of self doubt + Video

This past week I was flooded with self-doubt. It left me incapacitated in a way I hadn’t felt in years. All my old mind games came rushing in both to tell me truly soul-crushing things and that I had to figure my way out, now!

The result was a wild spin out that I’m just now recovering from.

(And let me write a caveat here…while it may seem that I easily and immediately go to my body for all things, all the time, I don’t. I falter and avoid, and don’t always want to pay attention to, much less move with, what I feel.

But the ache of my heart grew too big. So I came back to my body out of pure desperation.

I finally found the courage to face the monsters I am always sure are hidden under that bed, deep in the unknown.

Here are 3 things I did, which I’m sure you can too, if and when you get caught in the unrelenting claws of self-doubt:

  • Lay down, rest your hands on your belly where you feel the panic, weakness, slithering of self-doubt. And stay there. Let your hands communicate with your belly, without trying to change anything. Breathe and feel what’s there. And let whatever needs to surface, surface. You’ll find a lovely playlist at the bottom of this post to soothe you as you settle in.
  • Move as the self-doubt and then beyond it. Let the movement pour you open to a new state of being. You can watch the video demo below. I outline the steps in the description itself.

  • Find a wise friend, and give air to your doubt. Just like shame, doubt gains strength when we keep it tightly wrapped inside of us, and try to figure it all out by ourselves. Find a loving ear, ask for help, show that you’re frightened. It’s ok.

 

My wise friend was on the other side of an ocean, on a train, with her phone at 1%.  We managed to message via WhatsApp, and she gave me magic. As I listened to her supportive words, she ended by saying, “give it time,” and then asking, “What do you think?”

And all I could think was how lucky I am, as tears streamed down my checks, warmth rushed into my chest, the belly panic completely subsided, and I felt my legs again.

Then I sat down to write to you with my soul restored. I’d come back to my body.

 

 

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